Where was I? Oh yes, the wall of silence. A wall that had been covered with the ethereal fabric of the words ‘my love’. Ok, so I established that he did NOT love me. SHIT. What does ‘my love’ mean in male language, then? Probably, ‘I really enjoy shagging you’. SHITTY SHIT. With a prominent dent in my pride, I had to think about rearranging my feelings.
Surely by coincidence, I started to notice subtle changes in Mr. OSE's behavior. He stopped telling me how important I was for him and how much he needed me. I also started to notice little things in him that really annoyed me. His intellectual weakness. We would not stand a position in a discussion but instead he wandered through both sides with a fallacious, flimsy ultra liberal position, even in scientific matters where the evidence is overwhelming.
His emotional tightness and detachment that translated into a perplexing distance from family and friends. Original from a poor Scottish nowhere and a troubled family, consisting of an abusive, divorced mother with mental health problems and an absent married man who fathered him and a sister. His life was meticulously organised around numerous hobbies that left little time for social interaction.
Sex had been good but leaning on average. Quantity, perfect. But quality…er… it turned out that he only knew -and enjoyed- one position. Whenever I tried to stray from base he would get confused and slightly distressed. When I introduced him to my favorite sex toy I could hear him having a silent heart attack. So I accepted the satisfying illicit liaison with my average sized pink companion while I resigned to its smaller organic equivalent.
But life continued as before, albeit shrowded now on a veil of uncertainty and …tacit dissatisfaction.
We had booked a little cottage is Scotland and he allegedly was looking forward 'to spend family time' together with me and the children. The little ones were overwhelmed with joy and behaved like the little angels they are. We drove to Scotland and spent a week in contented blissful harmony and pure joy. We met his sister, brother-in-law and niece.
We drove back in one day instead of the planned two, as the children behaved so well. I found it strange that he did not want to stay after the long drive and preferred to add two extra hours to the eleven hour journey. I expressed my concern, he dismissed it.
We continued to talk on the phone every day. He had enjoyed the holiday and thought we were a really good team. Then, on Friday's phone call, he unceremoniously announced that he could not carry on seeing me. Just-like-that! ON THE FUCKING PHONE!
I had always told him that if he did not want me in his life all he had to do was tell me, I would accept and move on gracefully. I forgot to add ‘tell me with dignity and respect, grant me the courtesy of facing me and mention the reasons for your decision, like any other decent, caring, adult human being’. What a deceitful, callous, ungracious cowardly wanker!
Surely by coincidence, I started to notice subtle changes in Mr. OSE's behavior. He stopped telling me how important I was for him and how much he needed me. I also started to notice little things in him that really annoyed me. His intellectual weakness. We would not stand a position in a discussion but instead he wandered through both sides with a fallacious, flimsy ultra liberal position, even in scientific matters where the evidence is overwhelming.
His emotional tightness and detachment that translated into a perplexing distance from family and friends. Original from a poor Scottish nowhere and a troubled family, consisting of an abusive, divorced mother with mental health problems and an absent married man who fathered him and a sister. His life was meticulously organised around numerous hobbies that left little time for social interaction.
Sex had been good but leaning on average. Quantity, perfect. But quality…er… it turned out that he only knew -and enjoyed- one position. Whenever I tried to stray from base he would get confused and slightly distressed. When I introduced him to my favorite sex toy I could hear him having a silent heart attack. So I accepted the satisfying illicit liaison with my average sized pink companion while I resigned to its smaller organic equivalent.
But life continued as before, albeit shrowded now on a veil of uncertainty and …tacit dissatisfaction.
We had booked a little cottage is Scotland and he allegedly was looking forward 'to spend family time' together with me and the children. The little ones were overwhelmed with joy and behaved like the little angels they are. We drove to Scotland and spent a week in contented blissful harmony and pure joy. We met his sister, brother-in-law and niece.
We drove back in one day instead of the planned two, as the children behaved so well. I found it strange that he did not want to stay after the long drive and preferred to add two extra hours to the eleven hour journey. I expressed my concern, he dismissed it.
We continued to talk on the phone every day. He had enjoyed the holiday and thought we were a really good team. Then, on Friday's phone call, he unceremoniously announced that he could not carry on seeing me. Just-like-that! ON THE FUCKING PHONE!
I had always told him that if he did not want me in his life all he had to do was tell me, I would accept and move on gracefully. I forgot to add ‘tell me with dignity and respect, grant me the courtesy of facing me and mention the reasons for your decision, like any other decent, caring, adult human being’. What a deceitful, callous, ungracious cowardly wanker!
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